


Oh, Did I Not Tell You?

by Beefmaster



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Homophobia, Humor, M/M, Not angsty, but not too much, don't let the summary fool you, home for the holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-02-25 19:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13219413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beefmaster/pseuds/Beefmaster
Summary: Jared and Richard go to Tulsa for Christmas.  It doesn't go as smoothly as either hoped.





	1. I'll Be Home For Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a week ago Antiquitea filled a prompt for me about Richard inviting Jared to visit his family for Christmas. Is this fic an unauthorized sequel to that? Maybe. Who knows. 
> 
> Each chapter title will be a song title cuz I'm an artíste
> 
> Thank you CanisMortis for betaing! She's never seen Silicon Valley so if something is out of character you have to blame me.

Here’s a fun fact:  There are no direct flights from San Francisco to Tulsa.  There are also no direct flights from San Jose to Tulsa, or from Oakland, or even Sonoma County.  No airport in the Bay Area will take you directly to Tulsa, which means that getting home was, to borrow from the French, a huge fucking pain in the ass for Richard.  Of course, as soon as he had a serious boyfriend he wanted to bring home for Christmas, his mother suddenly offered to drive two hours to pick them up from the Oklahoma City airport, something she would have _never_ done for just Richard, but, whatever.  Richard’s over it.  So now Richard Hendricks and Jared Dunn are sitting on United Airlines flight 5585 from San Francisco International Airport to Will Rogers World Airport in Oklahoma City.

 

Here’s another fun fact:  Jared had apparently read the entire Wikipedia page for Tulsa, Oklahoma, and was bombarding Richard with fun facts.

 

“Richard, did you know that Tulsa has one of the largest concentrations of Art Deco architecture in the world?” Jared asks.  Jared is in the aisle seat, leaning over Richard to look out the window.

 

“I did know that,” Richard replies.  “Jared, did you want to switch seats?”

 

“No, no, I’m fine.  Did you know that S.E. Hinton’s _The Outsiders_ takes place in Tulsa?  S.E. Hinton wrote it while she was just a Junior at Will Rogers High School.”  Jared’s angle has his knees jammed into Richard’s leg.

 

“I did.  I actually went to Will Rogers High School.  Jared, you know any fact you learned about Tulsa from the Wikipedia page I probably already know, right?  I mean, I’m kind of really into fun facts.”  Richard tries to shift his legs away from Jared, but there isn’t enough room.

 

“I didn’t just read the Wikipedia page!”  He reaches into his backpack, moving his knees  away  from Richard’s leg, and pulls out a thin book.  Richard sighs in relief.  “I also read the Insider’s Travel Guide to Tulsa.”

 

“Jared, wh- why would you buy a travel guide to Tulsa?  Do you not trust me to show you around?”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend, really, I just want this trip to go perfectly.”  Jared stares at his lap.  

 

Before Jared can go into the self-flagellating routine Richard knows is coming, he reaches over for Jared’s hand.  “It’s going to be great, I promise.  My family is going to love you.  I mean, I love you.  So why wouldn’t they?”

 

“Oh, Richard,” Jared says, voicing dripping with emotion.  Richard allows him to run his thumb along Richard’s cheek bone.  “I love you too.  You know I would cross the ocean for you.  I would fight through jungles for you, I would hijack a plane for you-”

 

“Maybe don’t- maybe don’t say that one right now.”

 

“Oh, right.  My point is, I love you, but Richard, you have to admit, you haven’t told me very much.  I don’t know what to expect.”

 

Richard furrows his brow.  “Well, what more did you want to know?”

 

“Everything!  What should I call your parents?  What do your siblings do for a living?  Do your parents have any pets?”

 

“Ok, um, my parents will probably ask you to call them Tom and Rhonda, but you should call them Mr. and Mrs. Hendricks at first and let them correct you, they’ll like that.  My brother William is a lawyer, my sister Maggie works for the Federal Reserve in Cleveland.  And yeah, my parents have a cat.  Her name is Rutabaga and she’s kind of evil.”

 

“Thank you Richard.”  Jared turns back to the window for a moment before fixing his eyes on Richard once more.  “But Richard-”

 

“Yes, Jared?”  Richard says sharply.  When he looks up into Jared’s watery eyes, he immediately feels guilty.  “What’s up?”

 

“I don’t even know how to behave at a family gathering.  What do we do?  The closest I’ve ever come to experiencing a family event was when I testified against my uncle Jerry.”

 

“What?  You just, you just behave normally.  Just be yourself.  We’ll probably play games and drink beer, it’ll be fun.  Like I said, they’ll love you.  And it- it won’t be anything like when you testified against your uncle, I promise.”

 

“Thank you for answering all of my questions, Richard.  I just want to know everything important there is to know!”

 

Richard squeezes his hands again.  “I promise, I’ve told you everything important.”

  
  


Richard had NOT told him everything important.  The first important thing he forgot to mention was that Oklahoma is really and truly the Plains.  Jared counts 5 cowboy hats before they even make it to baggage claim.  He spends a solid five minutes staring at a magnificent bronze sculpture of a Native American man with his arms outstretched before Richard pulls him away.

 

The second important thing he forgot to mention was that Rhonda Hendricks has a strong Southern accent.  Like, strong.  Jared learns this as they are bombarded in baggage claim.

 

“Hey Richard!  How’s my baby boy?”  she asks, cupping both of his cheeks in her hands.  

 

“Hey Mom-” Richard begins, but she had already moved on.

 

“And you must be Jared.  Look at you!  Oh, you are handsome!  Isn’t he handsome?” she says, wrapping Jared in a crushing hug.  Jared beams.  “Richard, how come your boyfriend is carrying all the luggage? Get your lazy ass over here and help out.”

 

“He insisted!”

 

“Really, Mrs. Hendricks, it’s fine, I don’t mind carrying the bags.”

 

“Well, it goes against every hospitable instinct in my body, but if you insist, I suppose I can allow a guest to carry the luggage.”  Rhonda throws her hands in the air.  “Oh, and Jared, please call me Rhonda.  Ok, this way to the car.”  Rhonda turns on her heel and heads toward the parking lot.  Jared struggles to keep up, the luggage throwing off his center of gravity.  

 

“So, Rhonda, if you don’t mind me asking, where are you from?  You have a beautiful accent,” Jared asks, as the duffel bag on this left shoulder attempts to topple him.

 

“Oh, thank you, sweetheart.  I’m from Jackson, Mississippi.”

 

“What a coincidence!  I lived in Meridian for a few years when I was growing up!”

 

“Oh, how funny!  Was your daddy military?”

 

“Oh, no, I grew up in the foster system.”  Jared figures it’s not worth mentioning that his father is in a White Supremacist paramilitary group in the Ozarks.  

 

“Oh!”  Rhonda says, turning around to face Jared.  Her facial expression is one Jared has seen many times, a mix of discomfort and surprise and pity.   _You’ve done it now, Donald,_ he thinks.   _Five minutes in and you’ve already revealed your tragic backstory to your boyfriend’s mother._

 

“Well then,” Rhonda continues, “We’ll just have to show you what a real country Christmas is like.”  As they reach the car, Rhonda pops the trunk, and Richard helps Jared load their suitcases in the back.  

 

“Hey,” Richard whispers, bumping Jared's shoulder.  “It’s gonna be a good Christmas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will this be the last Silicon Valley fic of 2017????
> 
> I really hate that one joke in the show where Jared describes himself as a "half-crazed, half-Apache" because it plays into some super racist and harmful stereotypes so I figured if I was going to set my fic in Oklahoma, I could include some cool Apache art. Check out the sculpture in this fic, "Prayer" by Allan Houser Haozous, here: https://flyokc.com/prayer-1994


	2. Sex on the Regular

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared meets the Hendricks for the very first time ever because he's never met any of them before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is maybe not the best chapter title but I did say I would name every chapter after a song and this was the most appropriate song title on my Jarrich playlist so what are ya gonna do????????
> 
> So this chapter is TECHNICALLY betaed (by CanisMortis of course) but after she gave me her notes, I made some massive rewrites and I was too impatient to ask her to look at it again so IDK if it even counts

As they pull into the Hendricks’ garage, Rhonda apologizes again for being the only one to pick them up.  

 

“I just feel awful about it, but Tom and Maggie have been cooking some fancy meatloaf thing for tonight, and William and his family don’t drive down ‘til tomorrow.”

 

“William’s family?”  Jared asks, unloading the suitcases from the trunk.  Richard hasn’t mentioned anything about William having a family.  

 

“His wife Alexa and their baby Lily.  Didn’t Richard tell you?”  Suddenly, Rhonda lays on the horn, startling Jared.  “Guess who’s home!” She calls out.

 

The screen door leading to the house springs open, and out leaps a young woman with round glasses and dark, curly hair.  She looks familiar to Jared, but he figures it’s just the family resemblance to Richard. “Holy shit!” She screams, “it’s my motherfucking brother!”  She immediately traps Richard in a headlock.  

 

“Jesus shit, Maggie, I’m an adult,” Richard gasps. 

 

“I just missed you so much!” She envelopes Richard in a real hug.  It’s not any more comfortable than the headlock.  

 

“Hi Maggie,” Jared says timidly.  He gives her a half-wave.  “I’m Jared.  It’s a pleasure to meet you.”  

 

Maggie looks up, noticing Jared for the first time.  “Oh, hi.  Sorry about that.”  She reaches out to shake Jared’s hand.  “So great to meet you, Jared.”  As they shake, She furrows her eyebrows in concentration. “You look very familiar.  Have we met?”

 

“I don’t know, maybe.  Did you go to Vassar?”  It seems unlikely that Richard wouldn’t have mentioned that his sister shares Jared’s Alma Mater, but considering how much it seems Richard hasn’t told him, it’s not outside the realm of possibilities.  

 

“Nah, I went to Mt. Holyoke- Oh.”  Maggie’s eyes go wide as she and Jared remember at the exact same time where they’ve met before.

 

After an awkward pause, Richard asks “So… you have met before?  I’m confused.”

 

“Yes, we’ve met,” Jared begins carefully, “we, well, we met at, um,”

 

“Richard?” A man in his early sixties peeks cautiously through the door.  

 

“Dad!  Hey!” Everyone is silent for a moment as Richard and his Dad regard each other from a distance.  Eventually, Mr. Hendricks makes his way to Richard, wrapping him in a tentative hug. 

 

“It’s good to see you son,” he says, pulling away to look Richard in the eye.

 

“Yeah, you too,” Richard turns to Jared.  “Dad, this is Jared, he’s, um, this is my-“ he struggles to find words, his eyes wide and helpless.

 

“Boyfriend,” Jared cuts in.  He reaches out his hand.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hendricks.”

 

“Please, call me Tom,” he says, accepting Jared’s hand in a firm shake.  “We’re happy to have you here.”

 

“What in Sam Hill are y’all still doing in the garage?” Rhonda calls from inside.  She’s carried the luggage in to the kitchen and now stands in the doorway, holding an unopened bottle of wine.  “Come on in, I’m opening up some Chardonnay!”  

 

“You heard the woman,” Tom says, arm outstretched. “In we go!”  

 

The four of them shuffle into the kitchen, where Rhonda is pouring wine into glasses.  “Jared, darlin’, what kind of wine do you drink?  If we don’t have it, I want to get some for you before Christmas.”  

 

“Oh, I’m not much of a drinker.  Really, I’m sure whatever you have is fine.”  He moves forward to accept a glass.  As he steps forward, he feels a warm weight at his foot, and then hears a yowl.  He looks down to see a small black and white cat snarling up at him.  “Oh, I’m so sorry-”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Rhonda interjects.  “That’s Rutabaga.  You were bound to trip over her eventually.  Her two favorite places to be are in the sun and underfoot.”  

 

“Oh.  Still, I feel so bad, I’m usually great with animals.  There was a raccoon that lived outside one of my foster homes, and I was the only child in the house she didn’t give rabies to.”

 

There is an awkward silence.  Jared isn’t surprised; his rabies story only lands with a very particular kind of audience.   

 

Rhonda clears her throat.  “Well!  Who wants to play Scattergories?”

 

“Mom, we just got here,” Richard whines.  “At least let Jared and me put our stuff in my room.”

 

“Fine,” Rhonda pouts, “but don’t take too long.  I’ve been waitin’ two years to play this game and I won’t wait any longer.”

  
  
  
  


Here’s another thing Richard did not mention: he apparently spent the first 18 years of his life sleeping on the bottom bunk of a set of bunk beds, a set of bunk beds that his parents had never bothered to replace with a real bed.

 

“Oh, bunk beds,” Jared exclaimed as he followed Richard into his room.  He gently places their suitcases by the door.

 

“Yeah, William and I shared a room growing up,” Richard says, backing Jared against the wall.  Having a cute boy in his childhood bedroom is a long-held fantasy come true.  Of course, back when he lived here, he thought he was straight, but the sentiment is the same.  “Don’t worry though, William and Alexa are staying in a hotel,” he breathes against Jared’s neck.

 

“Yes, but Richard,” Jared says, putting his hands on Richard’s biceps.  He’s not quite pushing him away, but he is preventing him from attacking his throat.  “Where are we going to sleep?  I think we’re a little too big to share that bed.”

 

“What do you mean?”  Richard asks, as he tries to push past Jared’s arms and get to his neck.  “We share my loft bed all the time.”

 

“We haven’t slept in your bed in months.  All of our sleepovers since September have been in my condo.”

 

“Wait, really?  They have?”  

 

“Richard, have you really not noticed?”

 

“No, I guess I just assumed we were still splitting our time evenly.  But wait, why don’t we sleep in my room anymore?  I thought it was... quite comfortable.”  Richard runs his finger along the shell of Jared’s ear.  Jared shivers.  

 

“Richard, of course  _ you  _ thought it was comfortable, silly.  You used my chest as a pillow every night.  It was very romantic, but it wreaked havoc on my sleep apnea.”

 

“Oh God, Jared, I’m sorry.  Um, I think my parents have an air mattress in the basement, would that be ok?”

 

“That would be wonderful, Richard.”  Jared cupped Richard's face, pulling him in for a soft but insistent kiss.  Richard eventually breaks the kiss, slightly dazed.

 

“Wow,” he whispers.  Then he remembers something.  “Hey Jared, how  _ do  _ you know my sister?”

 

“Oh, now Richard, you don’t want to hear about that-”

 

“Yes, yes I do, Jared, just tell me,” Richard says impatiently.  

 

“Well,” Jared begins, “we were both in college.  The Mt. Holyoke crew team came down to Vassar for a weekend to row against us.  On that Saturday, the captain of our crew team hosted a party and invited both teams.  And, well, at this party,  Maggie and I… kissed.”

 

Richard blinks. “You… you hooked up with my sister?”

 

“Well, hook-up is a strong word, I would describe it as light making out-“

 

“You made out with my sister?  How is that better?”

 

Jared places his hands over his heart.  “Oh Richard, it didn’t mean anything.  It was just one night of passion; we exchanged numbers but I never actually made contact.”

 

“So you made out with my sister, and you didn’t even call her later?”

 

“Richard, are you mad that I kissed Maggie, or are you mad that I ghosted her?”

 

“I don’t know!  Both!  No, it’s the kissing.  I think.  God, this is a lot to process.”  Richard throws his hands in the air dramatically.

 

“I apologize Richard, I never intended to make this family gathering uncomfortable, if I had known- oh!”  Jared covers his mouth with both hands.

 

“What?  What’s wrong?”

 

“Richard, my gift!  My gift for Maggie!”

 

“What is it?  What did you get her?”

 

“A Burt’s Bees lip balm set.”

 

“You didn’t.”

 

“You told me she liked skincare products!”

 

They stand there for a moment, frozen in panic, until the ridiculousness of the situation hits Richard, and he bursts out laughing.  Jared cautiously joins in.  Richard takes both of Jared’s hands in his, threading their fingers together.  “It’s actually the perfect gift.  She’s going to love it.”   

 

Jared rests his forehead against Richard’s.  “Oh Richard, sweetheart.  Thank you.”  He beams at Richard.  The eye contact is… intense, but nice.

 

“Hey, Jared,” Richard begins, hesitantly.  “I know you don’t want to sleep in the bunk bed together, and I get that, but, um, do you think we could, uh, do sex in the bunk bed?”

 

“Oh absolutely,” Jared breathes.  Richard leans up to kiss Jared but he’s cut off as Jared continues “but first let’s go back downstairs.  I don’t want to miss Scattergories.”  Jared turns and leaves quickly.  Richard hears him amble down the stairs as he is left, once again, horny in his childhood bedroom.

 

“Fuck!”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all thought I could write a fic over 500 words without mentioning Vassar you were WRONG.
> 
> So when I first wrote this chapter, I googled "Rutabaga cat" to decide what Rutabaga looked like, and I found this ADORABLE cat named Rutabaga up for adoption in St. Paul, and I was going to link y'all to her adoption page, but since then, Rutabaga has been adopted (YAY!!!), which means her page is no longer up, and y'all will have imagine her yourselves.
> 
> Also Itsevidentvery once mentioned on Tumblr that she had a Thing for Richard being an Insatiable Sex Gremlin while Jared is trying to be Serious so I included the PG-13 version of that. 
> 
> Anytway I hoped you enjoyed the chapter and I hope you don't mind my super long author notes and I hope you come chill with me at ladiesloveduranduran dot tumblr dot com


	3. Everything is Embarrassing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard opens up about his childhood. Jared defends Richard's honor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long, I've been kinda preoccupied with my own real life/this weird self-insert RPF Fiddler on the roof AU I've been writing on Tumblr. You know, the usual. Come chill with me on Tumblr at Ladiesloveduranduran

Jared kept his promise.  After a  _ rousing  _ game of Scattergories (“Mom!  You can’t put ‘Black pen’ for Things in an Office!  Black is an adjective!” “Well, you’re not about to find a glitter gel pen in an office, are you?”) Jared and Richard did, in fact, have sex on the bunk beds.  Twice.  And of course, Richard kept his promise, so now they were lying on a 15 year old air mattress, smiling softly at each other while Jared played with Richard’s curls.  

 

“Your family is wonderful,” Jared whispers.  

 

“You’re pretty wonderful yourself,” Richard replies.  

 

“I’m serious, Richard.  This entire trip has been a treat.  I just- do you think they like me?”

 

“My family?  Of course.  Why wouldn’t they like you?”

 

“What about Maggie?  I feel like she’s avoiding me.”

 

“I mean, I guess it’s kinda awkward, your whole… situation with her.”

 

“Do you think she’s upset I never called her?”

 

“What? No!”  Richard says, propping himself up on his elbow.  “Look, if Maggie was still upset you never called her, then like, we would have an entirely different problem, you know?”

 

“I suppose.  But Rutabaga hates me.” Jared says, propping himself to meet Richard.

 

“Rutabaga hates everyone except Maggie, you can’t take it personally.” 

 

“Ok.”  Jared seems to accept that.  He reaches out and rubs Richard’s knuckles.  “Richard, why don’t you come home more often?  In the four years I’ve known you this is only the second time you’ve been home.”

 

Shit.  Trust Jared to remember every time Richard had seen his parents across their entire working relationship. 

 

“Oh, well, getting to Tulsa is such a pain, you either have to make a connection or drive,” Richard explains.   Jared looks at him expectantly.  He’s clearly not buying it.  “Plus, I mean, you’ve met my family, they’re a lot.  They’re very loud.”

 

“You don’t spend time with your family because they’re… loud?” Jared sounds hurt, because of course he does.  If Jared had a family, he would never let something like volume prevent him from spending time with them.

 

“No, no, ok look, it’s just-” Richard flops onto his back.  This conversation will be easier if he doesn’t have to look at Jared.  “I don’t have great memories of Tulsa, ok?  My childhood was kind of rough.  I mean, I got bullied a lot growing up. Like, I’m a weird adult, but as a kid?  I was kind of a freak, you know, I wouldn’t shut up about things like the Power Rangers or BASIC or Ancient Roman military strategies, and well, kids can be cruel, you know?”

 

“I do know,” Jared says knowingly, because, you know, he  _ knows _ .

 

“And then there’s my mother, she’s…”  Richard trails off.

 

“She seems like a lot of fun,” Jared supplies helpfully.

 

“She’s a functioning alcoholic,” Richard continues, “and it- it’s not so bad now, because I don’t live with her, but when you’re a kid?  It’s fucking miserable.  And it still  _ sucks  _ to have to see her like that now.”  Richard turns back to Jared.  “Hey Jared?”

 

“Yes, dear?”

 

“I’m sorry about earlier, with my dad, I should have, I should have said boyfriend.”

 

“Richard, it’s ok, it’s not-”

 

“No, it’s not ok!  Look Jared, don’t- don’t be self-deprecating right now.  I want to apologize.  You’re my boyfriend.  I’m proud that you’re my boyfriend, I love being your boyfriend.  It’s just- it’s weird with my dad.  I don’t know, he’s my dad, and it would be weird even if you were a girl, but it’s even weirder this way, and it’s just-  look, it’s hard, is all I’m saying, but I want you to know that I’m not ashamed of you.  Of us.”

 

“I know,” Jared says placatingly.  

 

“I’m sorry, I know this is a lot to dump all at once.  I probably should have told you all this before we came here.” 

 

Jared cups the back of Richard’s head, pulling him close until their noses touch.  “I’m just glad you’re telling me now.”  He gives Richard a quick peck on the lips.   

 

Richard rubs his nose against Jared’s.   _ How did I get so lucky? _  He wonders.   _ How did I end up with someone so sweet, so understanding, so- _

 

“Richard, would you be interested in engaging in intercourse on that desk?”

 

_ Fuck.  _ “Jared, baby, I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can get hard again tonight.”

 

Jared sighs.  “No, I suppose I couldn’t either.  Perhaps tomorrow then.”  Jared turns onto his side, facing away from Richard.  He pulls Richard’s arm over him, clutching it to his chest.  

 

Richard cuddles up to Jared’s back, placing a soft kiss on his neck.  “Definitely tomorrow.”

  
  


The next morning, Richard wakes up to find that, as usual, Jared has gotten up well before him.  He hears muted conversation drifting up the stairs as he heads toward the kitchen.  

 

“I hope you don’t mind, I placed the presents I bought under the tree,”  Richard hears Jared say.  “I didn’t mean to be presumptuous, I just got excited.”  Richard enters the kitchen to find Jared, fully dressed, helping his mother, still in her robe, chop pecans.

 

“Honey, please.  Any man who brings me a present can put it wherever he wants.”  She laughs loudly at her own joke.  Jared blushes.  “Well, hello there sleepyhead,” she says to Richard.  “Merry Christmas Eve.”

 

“Merry Christmas Eve,” he says distractedly, heading toward the crackers and paté laid out on the counter.

 

“Would you like a mimosa?” Jared asks brightly.  “They’re delicious!  Well, mine is just orange juice, but it’s really excellent.”  

 

“Uh, sure.”  Richard attempts to spread some paté on a cracker.  He drops the knife, and nearly falls off the barstool as he goes to retrieve it.  

 

Jared grabs a champagne glass from a cabinet and begins making a mimosa.  “I’ve been helping your mother make pecan pie!  She tells me it’s a Southern Christmas tradition.”

 

“I think that’s an everywhere Christmas tradition.”  Richard tries to spread the paté again, this time getting it all over his fingers.

 

“Either way, I think it’s lovely,” Jared says, placing the mimosa down next to Richard.  He kisses Richard on the temple, and then, seeing his liver-covered hands, grins mischievously and takes Richard’s index finger into his mouth.

 

“Well, it doesn’t matter if them Yankees eat pecan pie too, we-” Rhonda stops short as she turns around to see Jared practically deep-throating her son’s finger.  “Oh my.”  

 

Richard jerks his finger out of Jared’s mouth.  “Um, I’m gonna go up and get clothes- clothed, get clothed for this day. The day.  Christmas Eve!  Jesus’s pre-birthday!” Richard scrambles off the stool, nearly knocking Jared over.  

 

“Oh, perhaps, I should go help.”  Jared scratches his neck, blushing furiously.

 

“Yes, that’s- No! You don’t- I don’t need any help getting dressed.  I can do that on my own.  Ha ha.”

 

“Both of y’all need to get out of here,” Rhonda interrupts, “before y’all do somethin’ stupider than what you've already done.  And when you’re dressed, take my car and head to Reasor’s.  I forgot the corn syrup.”

 

Jared and Richard scramble up the stairs as quickly as they can.  At the top, Jared runs headfirst into Maggie, who is holding Rutabaga.  Rutabaga hisses at Jared.

 

“Hey, stay to the right,” Maggie says.  “This isn’t Suriname.”

 

“Suriname?”  Jared asks.  Richard has already made it to his room, slamming the door behind him.

 

“It’s a country in South America where- nevermind.  Bad joke.  Why are y’all running?  You in trouble?”

 

“No, of course not, I just put Richard’s finger in my mouth in front of your mother, and now Richard’s a bit embarrassed.”

 

“I see, that’s pretty embarrassing.”    

 

“Although not as embarrassing as kissing your boyfriend’s sister at a party 10 years ago.”

 

Maggie gives Jared a look of confusion and light horror.  Jared is familiar with this look.  “N- no, I suppose not,” she says cautiously.  Jared realizes that perhaps that was not not the most socially adept thing he could have said.

 

“I should go help Richard,” he says, sidling away from Maggie.  “My captain needs me!” he calls out, running to Richard’s door.

  
  


In the car, Jared tells Richard about his run in with Maggie.  Richard furrows his brow in response.  

 

“You’re really weird, Jared,” he says, without taking his eyes off the road.  He reaches over and takes Jared’s hand.  “I like it.”  

  
  


They’re in aisle 4 of Reasor’s (which is apparently a local grocery store chain) when Jared hears a taunting voice from behind him address them.

 

“Well look who it is.  It’s that nerd Richard Hendricks.”

 

Jared turns around to see a tall man smirking at the them.  He’s attractive, with a square jaw and piercing blue eyes, the kind of face that was probably handsome even through puberty.  Jared’s blood boils.  

 

“How dare you?” he shouts.  He can feel everyone in the aisle turn to look at him.  He doesn’t care.  “Who do you think you are?”

 

“Jared,” Richard says cautiously.  Jared ignores him.

 

“Richard Hendricks is not just some nerd, he is the brilliant, kind, and  _ sexy  _ CEO of Pied Piper, a  _ highly  _ successful start-up-”

 

“Jared-”

 

“And on top of that, he is my boyfriend, my captain, the love of my life-”

 

“Jared-”

 

“And if you think you can come in here and start calling him names like you did in high school without consequences, well, you better think again, mister, because I will bring fists of fury down upon you, I will stop at nothing to make your life a walking nightmare, I will-”

 

“Jared!”  Richard puts his hand on the inside of Jared’s elbow, calming him.  Jared takes a deep breath.  The handsome man looks shell-shocked.  Jared smiles.   _ That’ll show him not to mess with my Richard,  _ he thinks.  Richard continues.  “This is William.  My brother.  William, this is Jared, my boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smash that motherfuckin kudos button if Maggie/Rutabaga is your BrOTP.
> 
> Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger! But also not that sorry lol
> 
> Wow, looks like I'm dealing with ALL my personal issues in this fic! IDK about y'all but I didn't look my dad in the eye when I came out. Dads are... weird, but the important thing is I came out, right? Tell me about your Daddy Issues in the comments.


	4. Don't Talk (Put Your Head on My Shoulder)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard holds a baby, Jared plays Scrabble, the design of American-made automobiles is criticized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this chapter at work so if I'm unemployed tomorrow y'all will know why. 
> 
> Thanks as always to CanisMortis for betaing, and Animesemplemcpherson for teaching me how to hold a baby.

“This is William.  My brother.  William, this is Jared, my boyfriend.”

 

Jared’s face falls.   _ Oh Donald, what have you done?   _

 

There are a couple seconds of uncomfortable silence, and then William bursts out laughing.   

 

“Oh my God, Oh my God, holy shit,” he wheezes.  “This is so fucking funny.  Jared, man, I’m so sorry.  Come here.”  He pulls Jared into a quick hug, patting him firmly on the back.

 

A woman with long dreads carrying a baby comes down the aisle.  “What’s going on?”  she asks William.  “I heard yelling. Are you okay?”  When she sees Richard, her face lights up.  “Richard, hi!  What’s going on?”

 

William finally stops laughing long enough to explain.  “I came down the aisle, I saw Richard, so I called him a nerd, as a joke, right?  But Jared- this is Jared, Richard’s boyfriend, by the way- didn’t know who I was, so he just goes off on me.  Like, he goes  _ off _ .  It was impressive.”

 

The woman covers her mouth to suppress her laugh.  “Oh no!  Oh Jared, you poor thing.  I’m Alexa, by the way, William’s wife.”  She shifts the baby in her arms to shake Jared’s hand.  “And this is our daughter Lily.”

 

“Wait, shoot, Ricket,” William says, suddenly serious, “this is the first time you’re meeting Lily.”

 

“Uh, yeah, I guess it is,” Richard says.  “Hi Lily!”   _ Please don’t make me hold her, please don’t make me hold her- _

 

“Do you want to hold her?” Alexa asks, already holding out Lily.

 

“Uh, sure.”  Richard’s never really held a baby before, but he assumes it’s something like holding a cat: you have to support the middle and the bottom.  He holds Lily against his chest, and it’s… kinda nice.  She’s warm and soft and her tiny fingers grasp Richard’s hoodie.   _ This is my niece,  _ he thinks.   _ I’m related to her.  This is William’s daughter, William, my brother, who I used to share a room with, who taught me how to play video games, who beat up Derek Griesmer for me, who I haven’t even seen in two years, who- _

 

Richard feels Jared’s hand on his lower back.  “Richard, love, are you alright?”  Jared’s eyes are filled with concern as he rubs small, soothing circles into Richard’s back.  It’s then that Richard realizes he’s been standing there, rocking Lily back and forth with his nose buried in her neck, for an inordinate amount of time.  

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I just- it’s really nice to meet her.”  He hands Lily back to Alexa.  “What uh, what are you doing here?”

 

“We had to pick up some diapers on the way to your parents’ house,”  Alexa says as she accepts Lily.  “What about you two?”

 

“Corn syrup,” Richard says, “for Mom’s pecan pie.”

 

“Well there’s no reason for us to make two purchases,” William says casually, “we’ll buy the corn syrup and meet you back at home.”

 

“Mom didn’t give me any cash.”

 

“Well then forget about it!” William throws his arms in the air.  “You can buy your own corn syrup.”

  
  


Later, as they drive back to the Hendricks’ house with a bottle of corn syrup, Jared gasps and suddenly grabs Richard’s shoulder, nearly giving him a heart attack.  

 

“Richard!”  Panic drips from Jared’s voice. 

 

“What?  What’s wrong?”

 

“I didn’t get a present for Alexa and Lily!”

 

“That’s- Jared, it’s ok.  Trust me.”

 

“It’s just that I didn’t even know they existed until yesterday-”

 

“Really, Jared, it’s fine, we can say my present is from the both of us.”  Richard taps Jared gently on the knee.  

 

“Ok, I hope that’s enough to placate your brother.”

 

“Why would you need to placate my brother?”

 

“William is a member of your pack, and from what I sense, a fairly alpha member.  As an outsider, I just challenged the alpha, and for that I can only expect severe retribution, perhaps in the form of social isolation.”

 

Richard looks over and Jared with his eyes and mouth wide open.  He stays like that for a moment, and then suddenly, he pulls the car over, gets out, crosses over to the passenger side of the car, and yanks Jared’s door open.  For a brief, torturous moment, Jared is afraid Richard is going to hit him, but then he climbs into Jared’s lap and shuts the door.  It’s profoundly uncomfortable- The 2007 Dodge Durango does not have passenger seats designed for two grown men.

 

“Richard, what are you-”

 

“I don’t know, ok?  This just felt like a good idea in the moment and I- Look, whatever, just- Jared, I love you.  I love you so much.  And my family loves you, and even if they didn’t, I would  _ make  _ them love you, because that’s how much I love you, okay?  And look, my brother is- well, he’s a bit of an asshole, but he’s not a fucking wolf or whatever, he’s a good guy, and he likes you.  Okay?”

 

Jared nods, unable to look Richard in the eye.  He feels a little foolish for doubting Richard, even for a second.  “Okay,” he says quietly.  Richard tilts his head up and pulls him into a soft kiss.  

 

“This trip is going way better than you think,” Richard says when he pulls away.  “Just… relax.  Be yourself,  be… silly.  It’s okay.” 

 

“Richard,” Jared whispers, rubbing his palm along Richard’s thigh.

 

“Yes, babe?”

 

“Do you think you could get off me now?  It’s- a bit uncomfortable.”

  
  


When they finally do make it back to the house, WIlliam and Alexa are already in the kitchen, drinking mimosas.  Maggie is lifting Lily in the air and cooing. 

 

_ Relax.  Be yourself, relax, be yourself,  _ Jared thinks.

 

“Hey, we got the corn syrup,” Richard calls out, slipping out of his shoes.

 

_ Relax, be yourself.  Be silly.  Tell a joke!  Relax. _

 

“Took you long enough, Ricket,” William responds.  “What, did you have a layover?”

 

“I had to fuck your brother’s butthole on the side of the road before we got home,” Jared says, a big smile plastered on his face.  _ Be silly, be relaxed. _

 

Richard, Maggie, William, and Alexa stare at him in shock for a moment.  Even Lily has quit gurgling to stare at Jared.   _ Oh no,  _ Jared thinks,  _ that was… not relaxed. _  After a moment, William and Alexa burst out laughing.  Maggie and Richard join in tentatively.  

 

“You’re funny,” William says, pointing at Jared.  “I like this guy, he’s funny.”  William walks around the counter to sling his arm around Jared.  “I hope you stick around.”  

 

“Oh my God, Billy, calm down,” Alexa says, gesturing with her champagne glass. 

 

“I can say these things, I’m a little tipsy!”

 

“You’ve only had like, one mimosa,” Maggie says.

 

“What can I say,” WIlliam says, turning to Jared conspiratorially, “your tolerance for alcohol goes way down once you have a baby.”

 

“You asshole!”  Alexa calls out.  “You didn’t even give birth to her!”  

 

“Hey!  Watch your language in front of my grandbaby!” Rhonda says sternly as she enters the kitchen.  “Did you get my corn syrup?”

 

“Yep, it’s right here,” Richard says, gesturing to the bottle.  

 

“Excellent.  But look here, it’s all the sugar I need,” she says, taking Lily from Maggie.  “How’s my beautiful baby?” she asks, blowing a raspberry into Lily’s tummy.  Lily shrieks.

 

Tom shuffles into the kitchen, holding an empty champagne glass.  “Oh look, the whole gang's here! Let the gaming begin!”

 

The Hendricks family Christmas Eve tradition is to drink copious amounts of alcohol and play board games.  It’s incredibly fun and deliciously domestic.  At one point during a game of Scrabble, Alexa lets Jared hold Lily.  As he buries his nose in her dark curls, Richard reaches out and pats his knee.  He looks over at Richard, whose face is aglow in the midday sun.  He has the sappiest smile on his face and suddenly, Jared can’t help but feel this is the happiest he has ever been.  The moment is only topped a few second later when Richard leans over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

 

“Cheating!  Cheating!” Maggie shouts.  “Richard is trying to look at Jared’s tiles!”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be a lot of Alexa and William in the upcoming chapters because they are a lot of fun to write and I'm here for a good time.
> 
> Speaking of upcoming chapters, I already have a first draft of chapters 5 and 6 so hopefully those will be up soon as well! 
> 
> Your personal assignment for this week is to relax, be yourself, be silly, and tell a joke.


	5. Fishin' 4 Religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hendricks siblings reminisce. Jared gets some God in him. It's not explicitly mentioned, but Lily looks super cute in her Christmas Eve outfit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than usual, lucky you! Unfortunately, the end of chapter notes are also super long because I CAN'T SHUT UP
> 
> Thanks to itsevidentvery for the brainstorming help, and as always, thanks to canismortis for beta’ing

Around 4, Lily is napping soundly in her play pen, and Rhonda and Tom announce they are going to take a nap of their own before it’s time to get ready for church (“Y’all know nap is code for sex, right?” “Oh my God, Alexa, shut up!” “I think it’s nice that your parents still have an active sex life.” “Jared, shut up!!”). William, Alexa, Maggie, Richard, and Jared sit on the living room floor, ostensibly playing Jenga, but mostly just drinking Mai Tais and talking.

“So when Richard was little, he was OBSESSED with Applebee’s. Like obsessed with it,” William says, his head practically in Alexa’s lap. “It was the only restaurant he wanted to go to.”

“That is an exaggeration!” Richard protests. He has his feet in Jared’s lap and his head leans against the front of the sofa. 

“That is NOT an exaggeration,” Maggie corrects. “We went there like once a month because whenever it was his turn to pick a restaurant, that’s what he picked.”

“So anyway,” WIlliam interrupts, “we used to live farther out into the suburbs, closer to the Applebee’s, but then we moved here, so it’s like, thirty minutes to the closest Applebee’s, right? But that was still Richard’s favorite restaurant. So on his 10th birthday-”

“No, it was his 11th birthday, because I was eight, I remember this distinctly-”

“I was not any older than nine, don’t lie-”

“Guys, it literally does not matter, tell the story!” Alexa says loudly.

“Fine! So it’s Richard’s birthday, and he decides he wants to go to Applebee’s for his birthday dinner. But his birthday is on a Friday night, and my parents really don’t want to sit in Friday night rush hour traffic for an hour just to get to some shitty chain restaurant in the suburbs, so they tell him that Applebee’s shut down.”

“They didn’t,” Jared gasps, squeezing Richard’s right foot. Richard giggles.

“They did!” Richard says, waving his arms around. “They lied to me! And then one day we drove past the Applebee’s to get to, like, Ikea or something, and I was so pissed!”

“Oh, he threw the biggest fit,” Maggie says, sucking the last of her Mai Tai from the glass. “You should have seen it.”

“Oh, I’ve seen Richard throw a fit before,” Jared says teasingly, weaving his fingers through Richard’s toes. 

“Oh shit, Ricket, are you gonna take that?” William exclaims.

“Yeah, I don’t have to take that,” Richard says, waving his foot playfully in front of Jared’s nose.

Jared catches Richard’s ankle. “You will if you know what’s good for you,” he says, the alcohol making him strangely bold.

William laughs. “I like this guy. Have I mentioned that I like this guy?”

“It’s like the only thing you’ve said all day,” Alexa says, rolling her eyes.

William sits up. “I do, I like him a lot.” He puts his arm on Jared’s shoulder. “I think you’re the best potential brother-in-law I could ever have. No offense, Maggard, but I don’t think you could ever land a guy like this.”

“Oh please, I’ve already landed Jared,” Maggie says, popping an ice cube into her mouth.

“Wait what? What is she talking about?” Alexa asks.

Jared blushes. “Maggie and I… met at a party in college, and we kissed. That’s all.” He looks down, as if Richard’s toes are the most interesting thing in the world. 

“Holy shit,” Alexa breathes.

“Wait what? Are you- are you telling me that I’m the only Hendricks sibling you haven’t kissed?”

“I guess,” Jared shrugs.

“Really? That’s what you took from this?” Maggie asks.

“Yes! And I’m offended! Am I not handsome? Alexa, am I not handsome?”

“You’re very handsome, baby. Jared, tell my husband he’s handsome.”

“You’re handsome-”

“Kiss me.”

“What?” Richard and Jared say at the same time.

“Come on, kiss me, it’s only fair.” 

“Jared, if you don’t kiss my husband right now, I’m going to divorce him.”

“She’s not bluffing. Come on, kiss me.”

Jared looks at Richard, his eyes wide. “Richard-”

Richard covers his face with his hands. “Kiss him,” he giggles, digging his heel into Jared’s thigh. “Come on, it’s Christmas.”

So Jared leans forward and places a gentle kiss on William’s cheek. William jumps up, ecstatic.  
“Oh, fuck yeah! Did you see that? Jared just kissed me!”

“I saw that Billy,” Alexa laughs, tugging on William’s pant leg. “You’re my hero.”

Richard scoffs and props himself up on his elbows. “Please, you call that a kiss? I’ll show you a kiss.” He picks himself up and straddles Jared’s lap. “You ready for this, baby?” he whispers, his breath hot in Jared’s ear. Before Jared can respond, Richard pulls Jared into an absolutely filthy kiss. It’s- well, perhaps more filthy than it is actually good, but having a drunk and pliant Richard in his lap is one of Jared’s favorite things in the world, so he can hardly complain. When Richard tries to move toward his earlobe, he pushes him away, because, you know, his siblings are in the room.

“Ew!” Maggie exclaims. And then, quickly, “I mean, ew, because you’re my brother, not because, like you’re gay, or anything.”

“He’s not gay, he’s bi, right Ricket?” William says.

“No, I’m gay,” Richard says, turning around so Jared’s knees bracket his hips. He wraps Jared’s arms securely around him and leans back against his chest.

William scratches his head. “Oh, sorry, I just assumed, you know, because you had the girlfriend in high school, what was her name, Mindy, Molly-”

“Misty,” Richard corrects. 

“Right, Misty. So in high school you- wait. Wait!”

“We’re waiting,” Alexa says.

“Peter Choi. Peter Choi!”

“Oh God,” Richard says, burying his face in his hands.

“Who’s Peter Choi?” Jared asks.

“Peter was one of my best friends in high school, ok, and normally when I would have a friend over, Richard had no interest in interacting with them, he would lock himself in our room while we played video games or whatever. But when Peter came over, Richard was ALL up in our business. Like he would try to play Mortal Kombat with us, or show Peter something cool on the computer, he would even try to talk about basketball with us-”

“Holy shit, yeah, I remember this,” Maggie interjects. “He was obsessed with Peter-”

“I was not obsessed!” Richard exclaims. He throws a Jenga tile at Maggie.

“You had a crush on Peter, didn’t you?” WIlliam asks.

“I didn’t- that’s- you’re- okay fine! In retrospect, I may have had a crush on Peter. Whatever.”

“Should I be worried?” Jared smiles playfully at Richard.

“Maybe you should be, Peter’s single,” William says.

“Shut up!” Richard slinks further into Jared’s lap.

“So if you had a crush on Peter, how come you didn’t know you were gay?” Maggie asks.

“I just never considered it. I guess I just- never thought I could be gay.”

“So how did you figure it out?” Alexa asks, tilting her head slightly.

“Well, I mean, I’ve had a few girlfriends, but like, it never felt right with women, you know? This just feels right.” He smiles as Jared places a kiss on the shell of his ear. “I don’t know, I met Jared, and I realized maybe the problem wasn’t that I sucked at dating, so much as that I didn’t like dating women.”

“Huh,” William says, furrowing his brow as if he’s thinking very hard. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah, you never told us any of this before,” Maggie says. 

“Yeah, I guess, I don’t know. I didn’t know how to talk about it.” This conversation is suddenly a lot more serious than it was five minutes ago.

“Coming out can be hard,” Jared says, squeezing Richard’s waist tighter.

“Yeah,” Maggie says, swirling the ice in her glass, “I guess we’re not as close as we used to be.”

Richard sits up. “What are you talking about? We’re close!”

“Richard, we haven’t seen you in two years.”

“Yeah, you didn’t even come to visit us when Lily was born,” William says softly.

“It was- I was very busy, that was a busy time, there was- You don’t understand, I wanted to come, I really did, but there was this whole thing with these smart fridges, and-”

“Richard, we get it, I mean, you’re a CEO, you’re very busy. It’s ok,” Maggie says placatingly. “I’m just saying, it makes sense that we’ve never liked, talked about this stuff, is all.”

There’s an awkward silence. Jared rubs circles into the back of Richard’s hands. Alexa plays with William’s hair. Rutabaga approaches and kneads at Maggie’s thigh. Eventually, the silence is broken when Rhonda and Tom come down the stairs.

“Alright y’all, I hope you ain’t too drunk, cuz it’s time for church!”

 

Jared and Richard get ready for Christmas Eve service in silence. Jared watches as Richard fiddles desperately with his tie. 

“Do I have to wear this thing?” He asks, finally, throwing the tie onto the dresser.

“It’s Christmas Eve.” Without asking, Jared comes up behind him and begins tying the tie himself.

“Yeah, I guess.” He pauses. “I’m a bad brother, aren’t I?”

“Oh, Richard, you’re here now. That’s what matters, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah, that’s true.”

Jared finishes with the tie, and rests his chin on Richard’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Why did you come home this Christmas?”

Richard leans back in Jared’s arms, regarding himself and Jared in the mirror. They make a cute couple, he thinks. “I wanted you to meet my family. I don’t know, I thought you’d like that.” He snorts. “I didn’t know it would be this much drama. Plus, you know, my dad…”

“What about your dad?”

“Jared, have you really not noticed? He’s said, like, two words to you all day.”

Jared has, in fact, noticed this. He’s also noticed that every time Richard kissed him or touched his hand, Tom looked away. But Richard kept insisting that his family loved him, that he had nothing to worry about, and so he convinced himself he was imagining things. Now, learning that Richard had noticed it too, he felt his throat close up. “He doesn’t like me much, does he?” he says quietly.

“Jared, it’s not you, it’s just… I think he’s not as cool with me being gay as I thought he was.” Richard puts his hands in his pockets and stares at his shoes for a second. He jerks his head back up abruptly. “But I mean, it’s probably nothing. It’s probably in my head. My dad’s a weird guy. I mean, he’s related to me, right?” Richard chuckles awkwardly. 

Jared doesn’t say anything. He moves a piece of Richard’s hair out of his face and then kisses him softly. There’s a knock on the door. “Come in,” Jared calls, pulling away from Richard. Maggie pokes her head in. 

“Hey, Richard, can I do your makeup for church?”

“What? No!”

“Come on,” she whines, “you’ve let me do it before!”

“That was one time!” Richard says, blushing. “Why don’t you ask Alexa?”

“I did! She says she doesn’t trust a white girl with her makeup.”

“Fine, you can do my makeup.” Richard extricates himself from Jared’s arms and heads for the door. He turns back to Jared. “If I’m not back in 20 minutes, come rescue me.”

“Twenty minutes! That’s not enough time!”

 

Richard has to admit, Maggie did a good job with his makeup. It’s subtle, mostly just foundation and mascara, with only a hint of eyeliner. He feels… kinda sexy, which is probably not appropriate for church but whatever, Maggie looks like one of those girls from the makeup tutorials she’s always posting to Facebook, with all the dark makeup under her cheeks and like five different shades of eyeshadow. At least Jared seems to appreciate it, as he finally makes good on that “sex on the desk” promise. 

When they finally make it downstairs, There’s a loud argument going on over who is riding in what car.

“Rhonda, it just doesn’t make sense for Lily to ride with you,” Alexa says, exasperated. “Her carseat is in our car, and if we move it to your car, we’re just going to have to move it back this evening to drive to the hotel.”

“You’re not seriously staying in that hotel tonight, are you?” Rhonda asks. “It’s Lily’s first Christmas! She shouldn’t have to drive across town just to open presents.”

“Mom, we’ve been over this,” William says, “There’s no room for us here, that’s why we booked the hotel in the first place. Besides, she’s not technically opening presents, she’s seven months old. We’re going to the hotel tonight, but we’ll be back first thing in the morning, we promise.”

“Then all the more reason to let me drive her to church!”

“Fine, Mom, I’ll move the car seat.” William looks over and sees Richard and Jared for the first time. “Oh shit, I see Maggie got you, Richard.”

“Yeah, I guess this is my Christmas Eve look.” Richard touches his face self-consciously.

“I think he looks great!” Maggie insists. “So who’s car am I riding in?”

“Didn’t know you were that type of gay,” Tom says, avoiding Richard’s eyes.

The room goes quiet. Richard feels his face grow hot. “Yeah, Dad, I am that kind of gay,” he says defiantly. “You know what? My boyfriend Jared and I are driving with William and Alexa.” He grabs Jared’s wrist and tugs. “Come on, baby, let’s go.” He marches them out to the driveway, a decision he instantly regrets, because they forgot their jackets, and it’s 40 degrees. 

Jared places a tentative hand on Richard’s shoulder. “Do you want me to go back for our jackets, or-”

“It’s fine,” Richard snaps, jerking away. “I have my stupid suit jacket, it’s fine.”

Jared doesn’t know what to say to that. To want a loved one to accept and love you for who you are is new territory for him. The closest Jared had ever felt to this was a desire to be loved and accepted by any means necessary. The bravery it took to forgo that love, that sense of belonging in exchange for being oneself was something he had only recently begun experimenting with himself. But that’s part of what he loves about Richard: his bravery, his ability to do what it takes to get what he wants.

Just as Jared begins contemplating reaching out for Richard again, Richard wraps his arms around Jared’s waist and buries his face in his chest. “Thanks for being here,” he says quietly. 

Jared threads his hands through Richard’s hair. “Of course.”

They stand like that a moment, until William walks out with both of their jackets. “I thought you might need these,” he says, his mouth twisted in a half-smile. “I have to move Lily’s car seat, and then we’ll get going, okay?”

The ride to the church likely would have been awkward, had Alexa not filled the silence with a litany of complaints against Rhonda.

“I can’t believe she pulled that shit with the car seat, I mean, it’s a seven minute drive.”

“Mm,” WIlliam agrees.

“But you know what? I can believe it. I can believe it because, ok,” she turns around to face Jared and Richard. Richard is looking out the window, but Jared keeps his attention on Alexa and his hand on Richard’s thigh. “So before y’all got back from the grocery store, I pour myself a drink, and Rhonda says something completely passive-aggressive about drinking while breastfeeding, so I tell her I’m not breastfeeding anymore, and she goes nuts. ‘How could you not be breastfeeding anymore, don’t you know how good it is for the baby?’”

“As if she didn’t smoke through all her pregnancies,” William interjects.

“Exactly! And I breastfed for 6 months! That’s a perfectly normal amount of time!”

“All the baby books said so.”

“Every single baby book said so. Jared, take my advice, don’t marry into this family.”

Richard perks up at that. “Hey, don’t tell him that.”

“Yeah, don’t tell him that,” William chimes in.

“Oh please, William. You’re just saying that because you have a crush on Jared.”

“Yes? And? Like you don’t have a crush on Jared.”

“Well, of course I have a crush on Jared, everyone in this car has a crush on Jared, that’s not the point.”

Jared blushes. The idea of being wanted, of being accepted so fully by Richard’s family warms parts of his heart he didn’t know could be warm. Then he remembers how awful Richard must be feeling, and immediately feels guilty. Oh Jared, how could you? Reveling in the comfort of Richard’s family when Richard feels so cast out? He looks hesitantly over to Richard, but Richard smiles tentatively at him and places his hand over Jared’s. They sit there quietly for the rest of the ride as William and Alexa bicker amicably. 

When they eventually pull up to the church parking lot (well, technically the parking lot of the Reasor’s next to the church, it’s Christmas Eve, after all), Alexa gasps as Richard and Jared exit the car. 

“Oh my Gosh, I just noticed you two have matching ties!” 

“Yeah, Jared picked them out.” Richard fiddles with his green silk tie. The color is far more flattering on Jared than on him: he looks like a leprechaun, while Jared looks more like an elven prince.

“That is so cute. Here, let me get a picture of you two.”

“Oh, that’s not necessary-” Jared begins, but Alexa cuts him off. 

“Please, let me. You can use it as a Christmas card next year.” 

In Richard’s experience, Alexa is incredibly difficult to argue with, so he acquiesces. It’s surely an awkward photo: neither of them quite knows what to do with their hands, and Richard never knows what to do with his mouth, but when Alexa looks at the finished product, she smiles brightly. 

“Oh, this is so good. I’ll send it to you,” she says, quickly forwarding it to Richard’s phone. The photo is just as awkward as Richard assumed, and yet he can’t help the wide grin that spreads across his face as they shuffle toward the sanctuary.

Jared Dunn is no stranger to church. He attended a service conducted completely in German when he lived with an old Amish woman in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He attended a megachurch in Evansville, Indiana where the pastor skyped in from his other megachurch in Owensboro. He attended a snake handling service in LaFollette, Tennessee on his quest to find his birth father. He has taken communion, gone to confession, been born again, and has been baptised at least five times over the course of his childhood. Jared Dunn has found God and lost Him more times than he can count, and at the age of 25, he made the executive decision that he would never attempt to seek solace in religion again. 

But tonight, Jared finds himself questioning his decision, because there has to be a metaphysical explanation for how he could end up here, on Christmas Eve, surrounded by family, and watching the man he loves sing an off-key rendition of Silent Night while illuminated by candlelight. Jared doesn’t realize he’s been crying until the song draws to a close, and Richard turns to him, frowns, and wipes a tear from Jared’s cheekbone.

“What’s wrong?” he whispers. 

Jared shakes his head. “I just love you.”

“Well don’t cry, or else I’ll cry, and I’ll smudge my makeup.”

“Keep it down, you bozos!” Maggie hisses from behind them. “I’m trying to listen to the sermon!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Richard wearing makeup? You know I had to do it to 'em.
> 
> There is a parallel universe where this fic ends with Richard getting together with Peter Choi and Jared entering a throuple with Alexa and William. (Un?)Fortunately, we don't live in that universe.
> 
> That Applebee's story is a 100% true story that happened to my sister when she was little, except it was Macaroni Grill. My mom is... kind of an asshole.
> 
> Come tell me your William and Alexa headcanons at Ladiesloveduranduran on Tumblr.


	6. Parentheses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If something in the deli aisle makes you cry  
> Of course I'll put my arm around you  
> And I'll walk you outside  
> Through the sliding doors  
> Why would I mind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is pretty angsty :(
> 
> Thanks to CanisMortis for Betaing, and animesemplemcpherson for letting me pick her brain about shitty in-laws

Christmas Eve dinner is fish, which Rhonda assures Jared is traditional.  Jared wonders if it’s also traditional that nobody has acknowledged Richard’s outburst before church.   

 

“I’m just so glad the whole family is here for Christmas,” Rhonda announces.  “Maggie, are you taking more scalloped potatoes because you’re hungry, or because you just like eating?”

 

“I’m hungry, Mom,” Maggie replies through gritted teeth. 

 

“This tilapia is incredible, Rhonda,” Alexa says, spooning peas into Lily’s mouth.

 

“Tapa,” Lily says, peas dribbling out of her mouth.  

 

Rhonda clasps her hands together.  “Oh, my grandbaby is so smart!  Did you hear that Tom?  She said tilapia!”  

 

“She said ‘tapa,’” Tom says.

 

“Please, it’s practically the same thing.”

 

“What was Lily’s first word?”  Jared asks.

 

“Dada,” Alexa says.  “I don’t take it personally though, apparently the “m” sound is harder for babies to make, because it’s nasal.”

 

“Not to mention, she has such a great daddy,” William says, wiping peas off Lily’s chin.  

 

“Oh, and her mommy’s not great?” Alexa says, in fake anger.  

 

“Oh, well that goes without saying,” William says, leaning over to kiss Alexa on the cheek.

 

“Nope, it’s too late.  I’m mad.  You’re sleeping in the car tonight,” she says as she accepts the kiss.

 

“Richard’s first word was mama,”  Rhonda says.  “I guess my baby just has very advanced nasal passages.”  She reaches over to tap the end of Richard’s nose.

 

“Mom, stop.”

 

“Hey Mom, do you want some of that sparkling apple cider in the fridge?”  Maggie asks.  “ I had some earlier, it was really good.”

 

“Thank you sweetheart, but I am perfectly fine with my Pinot Grigio.”

 

“Let me get some of that,” WIlliam says, grabbing the bottle and pouring some in to his already half-full glass.  He pours the rest of the bottle into Alexa’s glass and sets the empty bottle down on the table.  “Speaking of apples, Richard, have you shown Jared that apple tree in the Griggs’ backyard that you fell out of?”

 

“Why are people only telling embarrassing stories about me?” Richard asks, miserably.  “Why is nobody telling the story about the time William tripped Grandma Carol and she fell down the stairs?”

 

“It was an accident!”

 

“Yeah, so was me falling out of a tree and landing in an ant hill!”

 

Maggie chuckles.  “Your face was so puffy.”

 

“Well, Grandma Carol had to go to the hospital, so,” Richard says, waving his fork.  He presses his lips together and looks at Jared as if he’s won this argument.  

 

“Oh, we should take a picture for your Grandma Carol,” Rhonda says.  “Where’s my phone?”

 

“Mom, we’re eating,” Maggie complains.  

 

“Oh come on, it’ll take two seconds.  I want to send a picture to my sister as well.  Everyone, get in!”  Begrudgingly, the rest of the table gets up and gather behind Rhonda.  Jared puts his arm around Richard’s shoulder and smiles.   _ How wonderful _ , he thinks as Richard winds his arm around his waist.   _ To be included in a family photo.  To be included in a family. _

 

Right before Rhonda snaps a second photo, Tom stops her.  “Jared,” he says, measured, slowly.  “Do you mind stepping out for one of these?  Just so I have one to send to my mother.  She’s not as… understanding as I am.”

 

Richard goes stiff, but Jared doesn’t see it.  “What the fuck?” Maggie shouts, but Jared doesn’t hear it.  “Jesus Chris, Dad,” William says, but Jared doesn’t notice.  Alexa puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and leads him to the kitchen, but Jared doesn’t feel it.  The only thing Jared feels is a sort of sinking feeling, like he’s no longer on this plane of existence, but rather floating in space, falling back into a place he was so sure he’d left behind.  He’s jolted back to reality when he feels Richard’s hand on his jaw, his soft voice whispering “Jared?”  His eyes are red and wet.  Jared puts his hand over Richard’s.  He hears William and Tom shouting at each other in the dining room.

 

“I’m sorry,” Richard says quietly.  “I’m so sorry I brought you here.  I’m so sorry my dad is such a fucking dick.”  His voice is shaking.  

 

Jared grabs Richard’s other hand.  “Do you want to go outside?”  Richard nods.  Jared leads them out the back door to sit on the wicker couch on the back porch.  They can still hear the argument raging inside, but it’s faint.  

 

“If you can’t be a decent fucking human being to your son, maybe you should leave!” William shouts.

 

“ _ I  _ should leave?  This is my house!”

 

“William, calm down, it’s not a big deal-”

 

“It is a big deal, Mom.  You two get so upset that Richard never comes to visit, and then when he does, this is how you behave?”

 

Jared tunes them out as he puts his arm around Richard.  Richard cries quietly into Jared’s shoulder.  

 

Eventually, Alexa pokes her head out of the back door.  She speaks quietly, as if trying not to spook a particularly skittish horse.  “Hey guys, so we’ve decided that Tom’s going to take our hotel room for the night, and the three of us will stay here.”

 

Richard wipes his nose on Jared’s shirt.  “You don’t have to do that.”

 

“It’s fine,” Alexa says dismissively.  “It’ll be like a sleepover.  And it’ll make Rhonda happy.  So come on in, Rhonda wants to do Christmas PJs.”

  
  


Christmas PJs, Jared is informed (after he wipes Richard’s snot off his shirt), is an  _ incredibly  _ important Christmas tradition, in which Rhonda and Tom buy their children (and grandchildren and daughters-in-law and their son’s boyfriend) matching pajamas.  

 

“Alright, before we go to bed, I suppose there is  _ one  _ present we can open before Christmas,” Rhonda says to the rest of the family gathered around the living room.  Apparently a vital part of the Christmas PJ tradition is everyone pretending they don’t know what present they’re getting.  Rhonda hands everyone a present to open (Well, almost everyone:  Lily’s Grasping Things That She Has Been Told To Grasp skills leave something to be desired).  “Well, what are you waiting for?  Open them!”

 

Jared carefully opens his present, to find a friendly face staring at him from fuzzy gray fabric.

 

“Oh my God, Mom,” Maggie says, holding up her pajamas.  “Owls?  Really?”

 

“What?  They’re cute!”

 

“I think they’re wonderful,” Jared says.  He rubs his face against the soft material.

 

“William, what the Hell,” Richard says, covering his face.  Jared looks over to see that William has already stripped down to his boxer briefs and is stepping into the pajama bottoms.

 

“What?”  William asks.  “I’m wearing my underwear.”

 

After everyone has slipped into their pajamas (in private), Rhonda insists they gather in front of the fireplace for a picture.  “Y’all are so cute!”  she squeals.  “I mean, not as cute as Lily, but what can you do?”  This time, when Rhonda snaps the photo, Alexa has her arm around Jared, William sits at his feet, Maggie has her feet in his lap, and Jared has absolutely no doubt that he belongs.

  
  


Rhonda allows one more present to be opened before Christmas, a travel crib for Lily so she doesn’t have to spend the night in her playpen.  William sets the crib up in his and Richard’s room, while he and Alexa take the bunk beds.  When Maggie sees the set up, she complains, so William moves the crib to Maggie’s room, and Maggie sleeps in the bottom bunk and William and Alexa sleep in the top bunk.  With Richard and Jared still on the air mattress, it feels like a sleepover, and the five of them stay up until 3 talking and giggling.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has art! I mean the art came before the fic, but still! Check out those Christmas PJs here, courtesy of Shfzw:  
> https://shfzw.tumblr.com/post/169747521199/ladiesloveduranduran-workplaceromance


	7. So Much To Tell You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas morning. Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long to do, I got caught up with my other fic! At this rate, I might even finish this fic before next Christmas.
> 
> Thanks as always to Canismortis for beta-ing. Thanks also to everyone who helped me brainstorm potential Christmas presents. Sorry I ignored all your suggestions.

The next morning, at 8 o'clock sharp, Rhonda flings the door to William and Richard's room open.

 

"Merry Christmas, everybody!"  She holds a fully-dressed Lily in her arms. "Come downstairs, we can open presents, then have breakfast."  Rhonda wanders off down the stairs.

 

"That's not the outfit I picked out for Lily's first Christmas," Alexa grumbles.  

 

"Shh," William whispers.  "If we're quiet, maybe she'll think we didn't hear her.  Then we can go back to sleep."

 

Richard groans and stretches.  His morning wood is pressing into Jared's back, which is normally a pleasant way to wake up, but not so much with his siblings and his sister-in-law in the room.  

 

"Shut up, William," Maggie calls.  She's already slipped out of bed and is wrapping her bathrobe around her.  "It's Christmas morning. Why would you want to sleep more?"

 

"Why would I want to sleep more?  Listen, once you have a 8-month old milk monster keeping you up till all hours, you'll understand."

 

Jared, who up until this point has been out like a log, stretches out, grinding back into Richard, which, once again, would normally be pleasant, but not when Richard is desperately trying to make his erection go down.  

 

"Alright, alright, enough complaining, let's go downstairs." Alexa says, stepping off the bunk bed ladder.

 

"Do we need to get dressed?"  Jared asks, sitting up. 

 

"Nah, PJs are fine for Christmas morning around here." William has finally gotten up and climbed down the ladder.  "Richard, you coming with, or are you spending Christmas morning up here?"

 

"Um, why don't you guys give me like 5 minutes?  I'll be right down."

 

"Are you sure?"  Jared asks. "Are you feeling unwell?  I can stay up here with you-"

 

"No, no, I think that would be... counterproductive.  I'll be right down."

 

When Richard finally does make it down (in both senses), he is startled to find his dad sitting on the couch, surrounded by the rest of the Hendricks family sitting in awkward silence.  Jared sits by the fireplace, Lily seated in his lap, his eyes focused on studiously on her tiny hands around his fingers, and _ not _ on Tom.  

 

"Hey Dad," Richard breathes.  He stands on the last step of the staircase, afraid to take the final step onto the first floor. 

 

"Richard!  Finally! You're here!"  Rhonda exclaims, desperately trying to break the tension.  "Oh, look at your socks! They match your PJs! Oh, I knew we made the right choice on those jammies."

 

"Rhonda please," Tom says, "You'll- you'll embarrass him in front of his boyfriend."

 

_Boyfriend,_ Richard thinks.   _He said boyfriend._ Because here's the thing.  Richard knows his dad, he knows he never apologizes, the closest he comes to sorry is 'sorry but.'  It would be... foolish to expect a full apology, to expect his father to say "I'm sorry son, I shouldn't have made you feel like I don't approve of who you are or who you love.  You're perfect the way you are, and I would never want to change that." It's just not going to happen. His dad saying ‘boyfriend,’ acknowledging that Jared is a part of his life, his romantic partner, is probably the best he's going to get for now.  So he'll take it.

 

"Yeah Mom," Richard says with a small smile, "Don't embarrass me in front of my boyfriend.  So, are we doing presents, or what?"

 

It’s as if a spell is broken.  The living room bursts with activity, presents are distributed, Lily attempts to crawl under the tree before William intercepts her.  Rutabaga seems to think that the discarded wrapping paper is actually a present for _her_ , and runs around the living room in a frenzy.

 

Jared’s gifts are received well, much to his relief.  Richard had told him approximately one fact about each of his family members, so gift buying had been a bit of a gamble. But Rhonda loves her collapsible gardening stool, William says he’s very excited to read The Devil In The White City, and if Maggie sees the humor in her Burt’s Bees lip kit, she keeps it to herself.

 

“Oh, I see how it is,” Alexa says, opening her joint present from Richard and Jared, “William gets two presents from y’all, and I only get one.”

 

“I’m so sorry Alexa, but in my defense, I didn’t even know you existed until we got here.”

 

“So what you’re saying is, this is Richard’s fault, and he owes me a second present.”

 

Jared laughs.  “Exactly.”

 

“Ok ok, we get it, I’m the worst.  Now open the present.” 

 

Alexa tears open the paper and pulls out an Amazon Echo.  “Oh!”

 

“Get it?  Because your name is Alexa!” Richard’s eyes are bright, as if this is actually a good joke.

 

“Well, thank you, although I have to admit you’re not exactly the first person to come up with that joke.”

 

“Yeah, this is will make our 3rd Amazon Echo we’ve gotten as a gift,” William says.

 

“But that’s fine!” Alexa says brightly.  “We can put this one in the bedroom.”

 

“You can’t put your Echo in the bedroom!” Maggie says.  “What about when you’re fucking? You might accidentally order a Swiffer duster.”

 

“Why would we order a-“

 

“Margaret Newton Hendricks, don’t use that kind of language on Christmas!”

 

“What, Swiffer duster?”

 

So all in all, a great Christmas morning.  Well, there was one thing. A small thing. Present after present came out from under the tree, but Jared had yet to see Richard’s present to him. But it had to be there.  Richard wouldn’t forget. It was probably just buried under the 12 million presents Rhonda had bought for Lily, right?

 

“Ok, I think that’s enough presents for right now,” Tom says, half way through. 

 

“What?  I still haven’t opened my present from Mom!” Maggie complains.  “And I know it’s gonna be good, because she told me to splurge for checked baggage.”

 

“You can open it after breakfast,” Tom says, padding into the kitchen.  “Your mom made quiche, and that’s the Christmas present I’m excited about.”  

 

“Um, actually, before we eat, I want to uh, go for a walk,” Richard announces, tripping over his words.  

 

“What an excellent idea!” Rhonda exclaims.  “Let me get my shoes, we’ll go on a family walk.”

 

“No, um, actually, I just wanted to go on a walk with Jared,” Richard says.  “Just, like, a romantic Christmas day walk. You know.”

 

“Can’t it wait until after breakfast?”  William asks. “I’m hungry.”

 

“No, just- we’re doing this now.”  Richard shrugs on his coat. “Give me a sec, I have to go upstairs to get my, um, my hat.”

 

“It’s like 45 degrees out, dumbass, you don’t need a hat,” Maggie says.

 

“Just- I’m getting the hat!”  Richard bounds up the stairs. 

 

“This is ridiculous.  It’s Christmas morning and we’re supposed to wait for you to go on a walk?”  Rhonda calls up the stairs.

 

“It’s important!”  Richard calls back.

 

Jared puts on his jacket and shoes and waits.  Eventually Richard runs back down the stairs, wearing his hat.  

 

“Ok, let’s go,” Richard says, already halfway out the door.

 

“Richard, wait! Your shoes!”  Jared calls after him. Richard huffs and sits down on the front steps.  Fine, just- just pass them to me.” Jared hands Richard his shoes and waits for Richard to shove them on.  “Ok, let’s go.” Richard takes off down the street, and Jared struggles to keep up with him.

 

“Richard, where are we going?”  Jared asks.

 

“We’re not going anywhere.  It’s a romantic walk.”

 

“Could you at least slow down so we can walk together?”

 

“Oh, right, yeah.”  Richard stops and waits for Jared to catch up.  He extends his hand. Jared takes it. They walk in silence for a few more minutes, hand in hand.  Jared can feel the nervous energy emanating from Richard’s body. 

 

“Richard,” he says cautiously, “perhaps we should go back inside?  It’s pretty cold out here, and we’re both in our pajamas.”

 

“No, no, it’s- shit.  This was stupid. This is so stupid.”

 

“Richard?”

 

“Look, just- fuck it, okay?” Richard wrenches his hand from Jared’s so violently that he ends up falling backwards onto the pavement.  

 

“Richard!”  Jared kneels next to him.  “Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine!  I’m fine, now stand back up!”

 

“Richard, you could be hurt-”

 

“Stand up!”

 

“Alright!”  Jared straightens out, still nervous.

 

Richard fumbles for something in his pocket, then gets up on one knee.  He holds out a black box, which he opens to reveal a beautifully made silver watch.

 

“Jared, will you marry me?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahahahahahahahahaha suck on THAT cliff-hanger!!!
> 
> (please submit your head-canons for why an Amazon Echo in WIlliam and Alexa's bedroom might accidentally order a Swiffer duster in the comments)


	8. I Love You Always Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared responds to a very important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long hiatus, I have been very busy over the past month doing other things. And sorry to leave you on such a cliffhanger!
> 
> The title is a reference to that one JCN fic where Jared's ringtone for Richard is "I Love You Always Forever" by Donna Lewis
> 
> Thank you to Canismortis for betaing!
> 
> Oh, also, nobody cares, but in response to last chapters discussion question: the rason why an Amazon Echo might order a Swiffer duster while William and Alexa are doin' it is because William is a dirty, dirty, boy.

“Jared, will you marry me?”

 

Jared says nothing.  His mouth opens and his eyes go wide, but he says nothing.

 

FUCK.

 

“I’m sorry it’s not a ring,” Richard blurts.  “The lady at the jewelry store said you shouldn’t propose to a man with a ring, because men don’t wear a wedding ring and an engagement ring, which- God, she was probably trying to upsell me, because the engagement ring could double as a wedding ring.”

 

Jared continues to gape at him.

 

“It’s not- it’s not just a watch, like, I know you have your smart watch so I didn’t- You know those commercials?  With that guy you like? Leslie Odom Jr.? It’s that watch. The Fossil smart watch. I’m not- I’m not trying to be like ‘Oh, I spent so much money,’ I wouldn’t- this isn’t guilt, I’m just saying, it’s useful.  You’ll like it.”

 

Jared still says nothing, which is… untenable, really.  Richard keeps talking.

 

“Even if you say no, which- but even if you do, you can keep the watch.  I- I kinda got caught up in trying to pick out the watch and I forgot to get you another Christmas present, so, I mean, it’s for you.  Either way. A gift.” 

 

And Jared is  _ still  _ gaping at him silently and Richard wants to die this is so horrible but he has to keep going he has to he has to-

 

“It’s too soon,” Richard says.  “I know it’s too soon, it’s only been like four months, we don’t even live together, but I always thought- I mean Christmas?  Right? It’s so romantic, and I wanted you to meet my family because you- you deserve family, and I didn’t want to wait a whole nother year because I know, God, Jared, I know, you’re the one.”

 

And that finally, finally, seems to be the magic words, because Jared falls to his knees in front of Richard and kisses him deeply, passionately.  A car whips past them and honks its horn, but Richard doesn’t care. This is hands down the most romantic moment of Richard’s life, and no stupid 2011 Kia Sorento is going to ruin it.  When Jared eventually pulls away, he rests his forehead against Richard’s.

 

“So, is that a yes?”  Richard asks, smiling.

 

Jared giggles.   “Yes. It’s a yes.”

 

Richard takes Jared’s left hand, and places the watch around his wrist.  

 

“It looks fantastic on you,” he murmurs.  

 

“I love it.  But can we go inside now?  It’s very cold.” 

  
  


“What took y’all so long?”  Maggie asks, the moment they open the door into the kitchen.

 

“Seriously, we’re starving over here,” Alexa adds.  She holds up Lily. “Look how tiny our daughter has gotten! She needs sustenance!”

 

“Well, your baby will soon be fed, but first, I have an announcement.”  Richard smiles at Jared, grabs his hand, and holds it in the air. “Jared and I are engaged!”

 

The kitchen erupts with sound.

 

“What?”

 

“Oh my God!”  

 

“My baby!”

 

“Congratulations, man!” 

 

Suddenly, Jared and Richard are mobbed by the family, all trying to give them hugs, look at the watch, and, in William’s case, pick Richard up.  

 

“William, put me down!”

 

“What?  I’m just celebrating!  My little brother is engaged!”

 

“William, put your brother down.”

 

“Fine!”

 

After the initial excitement passes, and even Tom has given them a polite “congratulations,”  Rhonda picks up her coffee mug and waves it towards the dining room.

 

“Okay, alright, enough of this.  I’m hungry, and it’s Christmas morning.  Get your asses in there so we can eat.”

 

So they do. They eat quiche, open the rest of the presents, play more board games, drink hot chocolate.  It is, without a doubt the best Christmas Jared has had in a very long time, and the shiny silver watch on his wrist is only a small part of it.  

 

Later, in the afternoon, Richard corners Jared in the hall.

 

“Hey,” he says, leaning against the wall as seductively as he can.  “Do you, um, can I show my fiancé something in my room?”

 

“You certainly can,” Jared says.  Then he curtsies. “I’m sorry, that was-”

 

Richard sniggers, and grabs Jared’s hand.  “Come on, I want to show you now.”

  
  
  


After  successfully showing Jared what he wanted to show him in his room, Richard rolls over on the air mattress, propping himself on his elbow to regard Jared, who is still lying on his back, recovering from Richard’s rigorous “showing.”  

 

“Hey Jared?”

 

“Yes love?”

 

“Um, how come- ok, I don’t want to sound like an asshole here, but how come, how come it took you so long to respond?”

 

Jared frowns.  “I thought I was very responsive.  Especially when you licked my-”

 

“No, no, not- I meant, when I proposed.  It took you forever to say yes. Were you- were you thinking about it?  What you were going to say? You know what? Never mind, I don’t want to know, I-”

 

“Richard.”  Jared turns over on his side, places his left hand over Richard’s hands.  Richard gently runs his finger over the silver watch band, not looking Jared in the eye.  “Richard, I wasn’t going to say no.” 

 

Richard blushes.  “Look, I said it didn’t matter, I-”

 

“I didn’t speak because I was so overwhelmed.  Richard, you’ve already chosen to share yourself with me, your family with me, your past with me, and I was so overcome by the prospect of you sharing your future with me as well.”  

 

Richard smiles, and laces his fingers with Jared’s.  “So you were always going to say yes?”

 

“There’s nothing else I could have said.”  He leans forward to place a soft kiss on Richard’s forehead.  “I want to be with you forever.” He kisses Richard again, this time on the lips.

 

Richard, of course, uses the opportunity to pull Jared in closer, turning the kiss into something far more filthy.  He tugs at Jared’s wrist until he is on top of Richard, grinding together to the point of being ready to show Jared yet another thing in his room.  They are interrupted by a knock on the door.

 

“Hey lovebirds,” Maggie calls from the hallway, “Mom says it’s time to set the table for dinner, and I’m not doing it by myself.”  

 

Richard groans as Jared rolls off of him.  “We’re coming! Just, give us a second. We have to, well, um-” He looks at Jared wild-eyed, silently begging him to come up with an excuse.

 

“We have to, to, we have to fix, no-”

 

“You have to get dressed, I know,” Maggie says through the door. “Come on, we all know you were fucking.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun fact is that I very seriously considered having Jared say no to Richard's proposal. tell me in the comments how angry you would have been if I had gone with that.
> 
> If you want to discuss Silicon Valley, your predictions for the most popular baby names of 2017 (the results are released in May!), William and Alexa's sex life, or anything else, come find me at ladiesloveduranduran.tumblr.com


	9. Right Where I Wanna Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW!!! It only took me 5 months to write this fic!

For most of his life, Jared has considered himself to be fairly lucky.  Lucky to have been rescued by CPS, lucky to have gotten a full ride to Vassar, lucky to have survived that measles outbreak unvaccinated. When he first met Richard, Jared figured he was the luckiest man in the world. To be able to work side by side with a man like Richard, to talk with him, laugh with him, was a dream come true.  Now, sitting on a flight from Oklahoma City to San Francisco, with his fiancé’s head resting against his shoulder, he realizes that lucky doesn’t begin to describe it. 

 

Richard mumbles in his sleep, and rubs his face against Jared.  Jared smiles.  _ Gosh, he’s handsome,  _ he thinks.   _ I can’t believe he’s mine. _

 

His mind drifts to that morning.  Richard’s whole family had come out to see them off as they loaded into Rhonda’s car for the drive to Oklahoma City.

 

“It’s great to see you again, Jared,” Maggie had said, laughing. “Also, when you’re picking out bridesmaids dresses, please keep in mind that I look best in jewel tones.”

 

“Oh, but I pop in bright colors,” Alexa said.  “But seriously, Jared, it was so great to meet you.”

 

“You guys should come to Kansas City sometime, we’d love to have you.” William, who was holding Lily in one arm, gave Jared a hug with the other.  

 

“Yeah, and if it doesn’t work out with Richard, we’d be open to a third.”  

 

“Third!” shouts Lily.

 

“Oh jeez, Alexa, you’re corrupting our daughter.”

 

“If I didn’t say it, you would have said it.”

 

“Can you guys maybe just stop hitting on my fiancé?” Richard interjected. 

 

“Aw, Ricket, don’t be jealous,” William said. “Jared’s crazy about you.”

 

“I am.”

  
  


Being with Richard comes with a whole world that Jared had never thought he’d get to have.  It comes with family, with laughter, with drawn out games of Scattergories in the afternoon sunlight.  It comes with obstacles he never imagined as well. 

 

After Richard’s siblings had said their goodbyes, Tom, had approached them awkwardly.  Jared held his breath as Tom shook his hand.

 

“Pleasure to meet you, Jared,” he said solemnly.  Jared nodded, unsure of of how to respond. 

 

He didn’t have to respond though, because Tom quickly moved on to Richard, who looked even more scared than Jared had.  

 

“Son,” Tom said.

 

“Dad.”

 

“It’s good to see you.  I’m glad you’re happy.” And then he extended his arms to pull Richard into what might have been the most awkward hug Jared had ever seen.

 

_ It would seem _ , Jared muses, as he accepts two packs of almonds from a flight attendant (Richard needs more fiber in his diet),  _ that I have a family now, for better or for worse.   _ And mostly, he decided, it was for the better.

 

As they drove to the airport, Rhonda discussed wedding plans, without any input from either groom.

 

“Jesus Christ, Mom,” Richard said eventually, cutting her off in the middle of a list of potential vegetarian options.  “If you’re gonna be like this, we’ll just elope.”

 

Jared felt his chest go tight.

 

“I don’t think we should elope, Richard, that seems a bit excessive.”

 

Richard turned around in his seat to look at Jared.  He smiled with one side of his mouth.

 

“I’m kidding, don’t worry.  Obviously we can’t elope, I want to share this moment with the people we care about.”  He turned back in his seat. “Besides, I actually have a lot of thoughts on the venue.”

 

“Y’all are gettin’ married in a church, right?”

 

“Mom!”

 

Jared laughs out loud at the memory, which disturbs Richard.  Richard clutches at his arm, urging him to be a better pillow.

 

“Richard wake up,” Jared says softly, running a hand through Richard’s curls.  “There’s something I need to tell you.”

 

Richard blinks open his eyes.  He scowls, but Jared can’t help but find it endearing.

 

“What is it?  What do you need to tell me?”

 

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please vaccinate your children.


End file.
